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Memoirs of a Stalker

Darren Willing
Willing Publishing (2008)
ISBN 9780981523903
Reviewed by Karrie Grobben for RebeccasReads (5/08)

“Memoirs of a Stalker” is the debut novel of author Darren Willing and it is what the title professes it to be: a real-life, autobiographical account of a stalker. Darren Willing was an average young man with delusions of grandeur, feeling he was entitled to whatever he wanted even when what (or whom) he desired was not his to have. Even after having been labeled a stalker, the tone throughout the story is conceited, sometimes irritatingly so. (Memorably, the author talks seriously about his confidence that he could be a CIA agent or an NBA player, given the opportunity.) Yet the story can’t help but stir a strange fascination.

We hear about these kinds of crimes, but how often do we get the opportunity to get a glimpse into a stalker’s head? How would he explain himself?  In “Memoirs of a Stalker,” you find out. 

Having enrolled in dental school following college, Darren finds himself struggling with social interactions, constantly battling against others’ dislike of his seemingly overbearing personality. He and the woman he planned to marry break up when she does not provide ‘the solace’ he required. Other students can’t stand the arrogant way he dominates class discussion and his lack of personal boundaries. Women don’t return his calls and in response, Darren just calls more often (sometimes resorting to seeking out e-mail addresses). Professors complain about his lack of attendance and attitude. One long-time friend becomes so frustrated with the author that he pushes him down a flight of stairs. The seriousness and strangeness of Willing’s behavior slowly escalates until finally, he glimpses ‘C.’

‘C’ would later be referred to, in newspaper headlines and on the news, as Darren’s victim. His invasive and unrelenting pursuit of a much younger woman is disturbing, but not incomprehensible. As his obsession with her takes on out-of-control proportions, something desperately sad is revealed in this grasping behavior. He seems genuinely confused and upset by his inability to get what he wants. The reader can’t help feeling compassion for Darren as he slowly realizes and accepts that he will never be able to be with ‘C.’ He is not, despite the way he appears even in print, a bad person.

Don’t be put off by the title. “Memoirs of a Stalker” is one worth reading, if for no other reason than for the fact that it does make you feel what it is to be Darren Willing. 

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