RebeccasReads.com - Moving Your Aging Parents by Nancy Daniel Wesson

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Moving Your Aging Parents:
Fulfilling Their Needs and Yours Before, During, and After the Move

Nancy Daniel Wesson
Loving Healing Press (2008)
ISBN 9781932690545
Reviewed by Mary Durfor for RebeccasReads (8/08)

“Moving Your Aging Parents” is an excellent guidebook for anyone who is engaged in the process of orchestrating the downsizing and relocation of another human being, whether a parent (the actual subject of the book), another loved one, or even themselves.  The author has drawn widely from respected experts in a diverse field of disciplines, and has truly created a reference book for managing environment to create a special place of retreat.  The special needs of the aging or disabled are thoughtfully considered, with practical solutions for overcoming barriers related to diminished hearing, vision, dexterity, strength, ambulation ability, as well as mental capacity and memory.  

One of the most important aspects of this process is the awareness that after physical needs have been met, care must be taken to recognize and nourish the needs of the spirit.  Since it takes at least a year to actually settle into a new living situation, for someone in their 70’s or 80’s, this is a disproportionately huge chunk of time in relation to time left to live!  With a new location, particularly if in a new state, or even a new city, comes the need for new physicians and pharmacists, new grocery stores, neighbors, bank and beauty salon, new church, friends, clubs or groups, etc.  It’s an overwhelming amount of “newness” which can be gently explored as part of the ritual of moving toward a new and exciting, fulfilling life, instead of away from the familiar and loved previous existence.  Often, a great loss prompts this entire process, such as death of a spouse, loss of faculties due to fading health, etc.  Much care and planning can transform the entire process into a growth opportunity, filled with new rituals that the author clearly outlines, and she subsequently offers excellent blueprints for achieving these desired results.

The principles of Feng Shui form the foundation of the author’s professional practice.  This ancient tradition seeks to design living space in such a thoughtful way as to facilitate living consciously.  Ease of movement, comfort, and natural flow provide the safe, emotionally nurturing and creativity enhancing arrangement of all things practical and ethereal for the creation of a sanctuary, a retreat, a place of great comfort and tranquility in which to reside.  The practical considerations of noise, light and glare, optimal organization of medications, foodstuffs, and clothing as well as items for achieving cleanliness all are taken into account as the new living space is created and formed into a welcoming new home.  The author gives a basic overview of the Nine Life Domains of the Feng Shui tradition, and integrates along with this spiritual eastern philosophical base, the sciences of ergonomics, Quantum Physics, and psychology.  She deftly pulls together the concepts (along with their full arsenals of techniques) of conflict resolution, recognition of and dealing with self-sabotaging thoughts, the use of creative visualization, the positive application of color, sound, and odor for their support of the environment, the power of intention, as well as the science of organizing and the deliberate reduction of “things.”

Also covered are the subjects of divesting of the old home, staging to sell, estate sales, and the actual packing of the belongings that are moving to the new space.  Concrete suggestions are offered which will ease the transition for everyone involved, and ideas for “clearing” the old and new spaces, for performing rituals of blessings and thanks, as well as guidance on sensitively cherishing the emotions tied to this entire process are an invaluable gift from the author.  Each chapter has a “Summary” and “Major Points” section at the end, which succinctly reviews the most salient points of the preceding chapter, and provides an excellent review for the reader.  Also provided at the end of each chapter is a numbered list of Suggested Activities, which, if performed, will surely enhance the entire experience for all who are involved in this emotional and potentially rewarding endeavor.  As a thirty-five plus year veteran of health care practice as a Registered Nurse, specializing in care of the elderly, I offer my heart-felt endorsement of this excellent book.  It offers concrete plans to follow and emphasizes the emotional and spiritual counterparts that transform seemingly difficult chores into acts of mutual joy, growth, and love.   

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