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Sixtyfive Roses: A Sister’s Memoir

Heather Summerhayes Cariou
McArthur & Company Publishing (2007)
ISBN 9781552786789
Reviewed by LuAnn Morgan for RebeccasReads (4/08)

Pam Summerhayes was four-years-old when she was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis (CF). She had health problems since shortly after birth, but in the 1950s testing was ambiguous and it wasn’t the norm to suspect a devastating illness in one so young. The focus was more on polio than CF.

With diagnosis came attempts at survival, even though that was rare. Many children died by the time they reached age ten or eleven. In Pam’s case, the doctors told her parents not to hold any hope. She would survive perhaps a few months.

Yet, Pam had a will to not let her disease get the best of her. Determination showed itself right away, even in her honesty with strangers. “I have sixtyfive roses,” she told people.
She fought strongly and bravely, living until just past her twenty-sixth birthday. As she struggled for her final breaths, she told her older sister Heather to write their story. The result is the book “Sixtyfive Roses,” a memoir of a life growing up in a family facing the eventual loss of not only their daughter, but a son as well (Pam’s younger brother Jeff was also diagnosed with CF).

Heather Summerhayes Cariou did indeed write their story. She tells the reader what they dealt with on a daily basis as they struggled to keep Pam alive, how her parents founded the Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, the brave face they put on for those outside the family.

She also tells about the deep love she shared with Pam, the fun they had growing up together and the pain she felt watching CF ravage her little sister.

Heather tells her story with an honesty and brutality that is rarely found in a book of this type. And she goes beyond the love to the hatred she often felt toward her parents, and even Pam, as she fought for a place in a family that was typically too busy dealing with the disease itself to notice she also needed attention.

I particularly appreciated Heather’s candid approach to a subject that is often difficult for many to express in words. She doesn’t pull any punches as she tells about how each individual in the family dealt with CF. “Sixtyfive Roses” is a book that should be read by anyone facing a similar situation. It would be especially important for families faced with the eventual loss of a child, not only for what to expect, but to understand how it affects their other children.

This book would also be an excellent read for the sibling who is struggling to find his or her place in a world where support from the parents is often rare because they are so busy dealing with the sick child in the family. In that type of situation, it’s often encouraging just to know “you’re not alone” in your feelings, doubts and fears.

I rarely find a book I can describe as one of the best I’ve read. “Sixtyfive Roses” is one of those books. It’s more about life and survival than it is about death and I would recommend this book to anyone who asks for a suggestion on what they should read.
It’s an absolutely marvelous read.

.: Blog