On Becoming A Grandparent
Alma H. Bond, Ph.D. (Reviewed by The Editor - Rebecca Brown)
1994 Bridge Works Publishing
ISBN: 1882593081 Amazon's price is: $19.95
When Alma Bond, a practicing psychoanalyst of 38 years, discovered she was to be a grandparent, she kept a diary to record the child's intrauterine development, as well as any psychological changes within her family. What she discovered was far more than she had expected.
On Becoming A Grandparent weaves personal journal entries with perspectives of a professional in the field of mental health. Instead of simply her daughter's pregnancy, this intrepid & candid author began mapping out her daughter-in-law's progress. Suddenly she was about to become a grandparent twice over.
Dr. Bond wishes to dissuade us of the myth that “a prospective grandchild's progress would seem one of the happiest, most enriching periods for a family.” Instead, she found the pregnancies stirred up old sibling rivalries, as well as buried memories of her own childhood.
Suddenly, or so it seems, our children are all grown-up & having children of their own. Whatever happened to all those fond, dim memories of their childhood? Where were we, as parents? What are our children's memories of what we were doing in our own prime of life?
How will we talk with our adult children about their childhoods? About their ancient resentments? About their “takes” on our family history? Will all be forgiven, if not forgotten? Or will those memories, rear their unresolved heads once again? You betcha!
& how will the spouses of your children react to your grandparenting, your intimacy with their partners? Hold onto your seats, folks, it's going to be a bumpy ride!
In an effort to gain some clarity, this author also started interpreting dreams each woman recalled, combining them with her own memories of her relationships with her deceased mother & husband, surprisingly uncovering her own forgotten reactions & childhood hurts.
On Becoming A Grandparent came to me exactly at the right time in my life, when my daughter was near delivery of her first child. I gobbled up this moving little book, like a harvest from a friend's garden. Dr. Bond flavors her writing with the spice of unflinching sincerity & the healing herbs distilled from a lifetime in the profession of healing people's emotional wounds.
What I learnt from Dr. Bond has been an eye-opener to my relationships with my daughter & son, to my husband & with the people my children choose to be partners. Suddenly, after reading this book, I've more of a sense of having grown up, at last! Of whence I came & whereto I'm going.
Of all this author's ten books, this one is her best! It is a sincere record of her insights, her musings on what she learnt from the travails of her patients' lives, her examination of her feelings toward her own parents, as well as her very real wisdom about how our minds work through our struggles.
A fascinating journal of exploration -- precisely my cup of tea! On Becoming A Grandparent is the perfect gift for anyone about to graduate into grandparenthood!
RebeccasiReads.com
